Monday, August 20, 2007

Trapped in the Junction Pt. 3

And one more, even though it's Monday, and I'm obviously no longer Trapped in the Junction! ...the Junction ... the Junction....

An excerpt from my yet-to-be-written memoir play, Hell to the Naw, etc

A Rather Disturbing Conversation that I Had with
My Husband, CH on Sunday Morning

ME: Was I dreaming last night, or was there a raccoon in the kitchen.
I had fallen asleep in a haze of Sunset Junction heat and worldly beer from the bad restaurant/great bar "good." And I really wanted/needed to believe that my fuzzy memory of CH banging on a pan and repeating in good-natured singsong: "Get out of the kitchen, racoons!" was a dream -- those of you familiar with CH's extremely practical-but-nice personality will be able to imagine him saying this.

CH: No, there wasn't a raccoon...

ME: Good--

CH: There were THREE raccoons. A mother and her two baby raccoons. They got in through the cat door and were eating Gibson's cat food. It took me a while to chase them out. They'll probably try to come back, so we're going to have to start blocking the cat door at night.

ME: (going dead still) Are you serious?

CH: Yes.
More disturbing than the idea of not one but THREE dirty, evil raccoons being in my kitchen. More disturbing than their guaranteed return. More disturbing even than the fact that they DID return on Sunday night to bump their foul noses and scratch their terrible claws against the kicthen cat door like zombies in a truly bone-chilling bid to get in, was what I said next:

ME: That's deeply disturbing. I'm definitely going to have to blog about that.

Trapped in the junction! ... the junction... the junction...


Anonymous said...

I think Raccoons are cute. They were just hungry.

Ernessa T. Carter said...

Anonymous, I'm not sure who you are. But you are wrong, unless if by "cute" you mean "terrifying devil beasts that represent all that is wrong in nature." In that case you are quite right.

Anonymous said...

Why do you need to hate on Raccoons? What have they ever done to you?

frank's wild lunch said...

Raccoons are gross. My mother raised some orphaned babies because she's a serious animal lover, and even she hated them by the time they were due to be released.

Sorry I didn't make it to the Junction. JW and I considered calling you two on Sunday, but we wouldn't have been able to get there until after 8pm, so we ordered in Thai instead.