If Gywneth Paltrow + Duffy had a lovechild...

No, this is not yet another cleverly-worded Ernessa diatribe about how Chris Martin and Gywneth Paltrow look so much alike, it really icks me out in a V.C. Andrews sort of way-- though they do. 

Here's Chris Martin and her brother Jake Paltrow. You try to figure out which is which.

But on the brighter, non-incesty side, if Gywneth Paltrow ... 

+ Duffy had a lovechild...

It would be a young Helen Mirren:

Don't you think? 

Sexy Summer Shows

Man, I love alliteration. Things I did this week re: Sexy Summer Shows

1. Tried to watch Swingtown, the new CBS show about swinging couples in the 70's. Shockingly boring. Turned it off after a few minutes. But if you want to see it, go here.

2. Watched the first two episodes of Showtime's Secret Diary of a Call Girl, starring our old friend Billie Piper from the revamped Dr. Who. Weirdly fascinating. Shocked that this wasn't given a weekend spot, ala Sex And The City. A lot of fun-but-civilized naughtiness, and I've always found British people cursing insanely cute. It made me really wish I had Showtime, but then I'd get nothing done. Still, click here for the first two episodes, then if you're like me, you can wait it out for the DVD release. 

Oh, BBC America, why didn't you pick up this series, so that I could watch it on basic cable? It's way better than Hotel Babylon -- though I love that one too. 

In other hot summer news, CH and I are spending the weekend moving into our newly remodeled upstairs, which is pretty damn sexy. To us.

Back for the Summer

So last year around this time, I blogged for 21 days straight up to my wedding, and then managed to keep this blog updated ALL summer.

Well, I finally secured a designer for my new and very much improved blog, which will launch this August, so I thought I should celebrate with a Summer challenge to keep the soon-to-be old blog updated until the new site is ready to go. Plus, I seriously need to get in writing shape for the new blog, since that one is costing me money and I'll definitely need to keep it updated (for tax write-off purposes alone).

And just in case that's not confusing enough, I wanted to kick off my umpteenth comeback with a retell of the strange (though fairly easy to decipher) dream I had last night. I would love to preface this by saying that I hate when people talk about their dreams and assurances that this dream is so special that I had to break my own rule not to be lame. But I can't b/c:

1. I actually love when people tell me about their dreams, as I get a kick out of trying to decipher them. I think I must have been some kind of shaman in a past life or something... And
2. I am lame. Obviously.

Look to the brightside. In the new incarnation of this blog, I'll be able to say things like "read about it after the jump" and then you can scroll down to the next item if you don't feel like reading about last night's dream. Yea for progress.

Anywho, here's the dream:

I go to a New Year's Eve party with all my friends from my all-women's college -- even the ones I no longer see/hangout with/speak to anymore. And they look like the college versions of themselves. I mean we're all wearing girly party dresses, and my friend, Sebrina has her hair in a big Afro, and my friend, Katie G. has long blond curly hair again. When we get inside, there's a great party going on and all my friends from Japan are also there -- again all of them look the way they look in Japan. We all start dancing. There's a really good band led my (for whatever reason -- but I'm absolutely not kidding) Tay Zonday. And we're all having a great time, but a few minutes before midnight, I realize that I'm cold and that I left my jacket at the house.

I run out into the dark and grab the jacket from the house I live in now. I get a little lost and confused, but eventually make my way back to the house with the party. However, when I get inside, I've missed the New Year's Eve countdown, and now the house is filled with my current friends -- mostly the L.A. Smithies, the Fillies, my friends from grad school, my husband, and a few of our mutual friends. They're all standing around and chatting and/or watching a Battlestar Galatica marathon on television. I'm sad I missed the countdown, but happy to be warm again.

I sit down on the couch next to my husband and say, "Ooh, a BSG marathon!"

Then I woke up to discover that I had stolen all the covers from my husband during the night.

Chocolate Rain...

Saturday Quickie -- Oh what a wonderful feeling...

Having not gotten much sleep over the past few days due to Quickie anticipation, it did occur to me that the actual event itself could be a little anti-climatic and that I should downgrade my expectations. But no can do, the film festival was AMAZING. Such a great hour of shorts. And our 8PM showing was absolutely packed with friends, disappointing porn and laughter -- and isn't that the best combination?

Normally at this point, I would be going through a pretty intense spot of after-project blues, but not just yet. We're having TWO more showings at 6pm and 8pm, tomorrow (Sunday, March 23rd). So you still have a couple of chances to come out cool, in the "be there or be square" equation.

Plus, I'm rocking green toenail polish these days, and I know you want to see that hotness.

Click on the pic for more info and to order your tickets online.

Friday Quickie -- Spring! Spring! Spring!

As many of you know, I like to switch to glasses and straight hair during the brutally cold (I think it got down to 42 degrees in February!) California winter months. I like to look intelligent and practical while whining 24/7 about how it's freezing when the temperature dips below 60. Yes, I know I grew up in Missouri and went to school in the even colder Massachusetts, but it's a California thing, you wouldn't/couldn't understand unless you lived here.

Well, Spring is officially here, so I've shed my glasses and switched to contacts. I've also started curling my hair again, since it actually has a chance of drying within a 24 hour period now. 

Come see the new look -- which is actually the old look from before winter if you've seen me since the Holidays and the exact same look as last time if you haven't -- at The Quickie. Click on the pic for more details.

Wed. and Thurs. Double Quickie -- Writing Music

So one of the main problems with writing for a living is that you really do have to write -- I mean even when you don't feel like it. Getting paid to write is kind of like sex. Usually it's great, but when you're not in the mood, you're really not in the mood, and unfortnately, you can't say, "Not tonight, honey" to a deadline -- though I've certainly thought about trying.

The other problem with writing is that it really does take a a lot of focus. This means my office door stays firmly shut while at work and it also means that I'm constantly on the search for what I call "Writing Music" -- this is basically music that is engaging and energetic but not distracting. Now this is a very hard bill to fill, b/c really, any music that has the first 2 qualities usually can't help but have the third.

But I've found a couple of nice solves for my music problem:

Vitamin String Quartet Tribute albums. This is an outfit that puts out classical string versions of pop faves. So great sound without all the distracting words. This takes some I-Tune sample minutes, b/c your favorite songs don't necessarily make for the best classical tracks. You really have to listen to the classical-fied samples in order to know whether you'll like it or not. But try The Coldplay Tribute. Also, even if you're not a fan of The Darkness (and you're a bad person if you aren't), the Vitamin String version of their first album kills.

My other writing life saver is French music. SO good, but not distracting, because I have no idea what they're talking about. Here's a rundown of some of my recent faves that aren't Daft Punk or Justice. If your favorite French song isn't on my list, let me know in the comments. Like I said, I'm always looking for more writing music.

"Quelqu'un M' A Dit" -- Carla Bruni: Makes me feel like I'm walking in a bittersweet French movie...

"La ballade du mois de juin" -- Benjamin Biolay: Makes me feel wistful.

"Mer Du Japon" -- Air: Makes me feel like I'm in a French writing montage.

"Abesses" -- Birdy Nam Nam: Makes me feel my deadline.

"Solta o Frango" and "Geremia" -- Bonde Do Role: They're actually Brazillian, but these songs make me want to join a French dance crew and breakdance for change and then write about it.

"Adventure" -- Le Peuple de L'Herbe: This song makes me jut my head from side to side while writing -- which is fun.

And guys, if you haven't discovered the glorious brilliance that is Yelle yet. Download "A Cause Des Garcons," "Je veux te voir," and "Ce Jeu" like yesterday. Also, check her out below.



BT-dub, know what else is sorta French -- my film for The Quickie. You'll have to come out to the event THIS weekend, March 22nd and March 23rd, to see what I mean by that. Click on the pic for tickets and more info.

Tuesday Quickie -- The Days Are Getting Longer

Okay, all the films are in, and my fellow Filly and festival coordinator, Sallie, has reported back that they are AMAZING! Hysterical, wonderful and beyond inventive. Apparently, this really is going to be our best experiment to date.

Normally, I'd be excited about this -- The Fillies knew the concept was festival gold as soon as we came up with it, and it's nice to see that we were right. But now, I'm feeling crazy-impatient, because I really want the weekend to get here. Upsetting but true -- Sallie doesn't allow anyone -- not even the other Fillies -- to see the full final product until game night, and I'm seriously afraid that the anticipation will kill me before Saturday.

But just in case I survive until then, do join us for the big event. We're giving you FOUR chances to see the films with showings at 6pm and 8pm on Saturday, March 22nd and Sunday, March 23rd.

Be there or be icky. Click on the pic for tickets and more details

Monday Quickie -- New Favorite Things

Our kick-ass new stove. If you haven't heard the stomach-turning story about what happened to the old one, buy a drink at The Quickie and ask me about it -- but not if you've just eaten.

Our kick-ass new refrigerator. Yes, it's currently residing in our dining room, but I have hopes and dreams about the catalog-worthy life filled with lots of refrigerator-door ice and water that we will live once it's installed.

Our kick-ass upstairs Moroccan light fixture.  CH made it light-bulb ready and installed it himself, while I oohed-and-aahed in the background. Everybody, if you can, marry a DP. 

Our kick-ass upstairs. After 8 months, it's finally looking ready, and our days of being that boring couple that can only talk about their on-going remodel may soon be over. In fact a little birdie has told me that we actually might be able to move in as early as (gasp!) this weekend -- though of course we'll have to put that off until next week, b/c we'll be at The Quickie. See you then. Click on the pic for more info and tickets.

Sunday Quickie -- Restoration

Having somehow escaped from the dark clutches of death once again and after a hectic weekend of Quickie business, I decided to wind down at Urth Yoga's Sunday night Relax and Restore class, which was being substitute-taught by my fellow Filly, Kalimba.

Basically it was a bunch of relaxing poses and breathing in the dark, with some massage thrown in -- as promised, very restorative, very relaxing. Also, the space is gorgeous. It's a self-billed Eco Yoga studio, and apparently, everything's made of non-toxic and recycled materials. By the time I left I was feeling like the world was a good place again. Perfect way to end a weekend, and totally worth checking out if your in the area (Silverlake, Echo Park, Los Feliz, Korea Town). But don't go next weekend.

Next weekend, you have plans. Click on the pic for details and tickets.

Saturday Quickie -- The Art of Art

Exhausting Saturday. But the for-sure highlight was hitting up the BCAM Inaugural Installation at LACMA with my fellow Smithies. I haven't been to LACMA since before they expanded the campus. And the new building is gorgeous. Clean and modern lines, but inviting and accessible. 

And even my in-the-know art friend, Karen, was mesmerized in childlike way by the clever elevator -- which is sort of like a cool floating room with wood floors and red and black accents. 

Totally worth seeing. Here are the pieces to seek out -- if you have my exact same tastes that I do:

Anything by Jeff Koons. You know how I love the bright colors.

Same goes for the John Baldessari installation. You know how I love the cynical words.

Also adored many of the Edward Ruscha pieces. You know how I love the ambiguous religious imagery.

And I also think the Damien Hirst "Away from the Flock" is worth seeking out. Yes, that's a sheep (lamb?) in formaldehyde. You know how I love hearing my friends say, "Ew!"

Robert Therrien: "Under The Table." This made me suddenly remember how much I used to love crawling under tables when I was a kid. You know how I love when art brings up forgotten feelings.

I originally spear-headed this LACMA trip based on a friend's (thanks Kimberly!) suggestion to see Chris Burden's Street Lamps installation (I was told not to call it an "exhibit" by an irate ticket seller/snob) -- and that was worth the price of a ticket. So do seek out all the Chris Burden stuff. Truly awesome, but not pictured here, b/c of the "justice" factor. 

But you know if you're more of a moving arts kind of fan, you should definitely come out to The Quickie. The film concepts that this theme has inspired will blow your mind. 100 % good time guarantee -- I can say this, because I've seen the alcohol budget. So do come out. Click on the pic for info and tickets.

Friday Quickie -- Common People

As many of you know, I fell head-over-heels in love with "Common People" by Pulp during my broke-as-a-joke 20's, and I'm an even bigger fan of the William Shatner version on his beyond brilliant Ben Folds-produced CD, Has Been. So how thrilled was I when the hubby sent around this Archie-reimagine of the lyrics?






See the original Pulp video here, and click here for the full-on Archie redux.

UPDATE: Re-reading this passage, I realize that it might seem that I'm saying that my husband, CH, did the Archie stuff, but that is not the case. Full credit and lots of blog hits should go to Chris at Chris's Invincible Super-Blog: History's Greatest Villian Since 2005.


Much love,
etc

P.S. And don't forget to get your Quickie tickets. One more week. Blah, blah, blah. Click on the picture.

Thursday Quickie -- Suffering for your Art

Apparently, little sleep + making a short in which 10 cigarettes are smoked 3 feet away from you + change of seasons + shady sinuses = Sick as a dog.

I woke up with a desert in my throat and a raw nerve where my sinuses usually reside. This is the first time I've been sick in almost two years. But unlike with past sickness, I didn't immediately conclude that it was tuberculosis or ask CH to get a gun and put me down like a dog -- I was tempted, but CH has informed him that it disturbs him deeply when I say things like that, so I just told him I didn't feel well. See, I'm growing up.

I actually had to call in sick, which I never do. But there are two things that give me solace:

1. CH making an early morning run for Halls Vapor-Action Lozenges, Thera Flu and Chicken Soup. Very sweet.

And...

2. That suffering for my art will all be worth it when you guys all come out to The Quickie on March 22 or March 23rd. Click on the pic for details and tickets.

Wednesday Quickie -- In defense of critics

My fellow blogger/playwright, Kyle, posted this funny item about "Angries" or critics who fuel up on free wine and then confront the playwright with cutting, suicide-inducing, on-the-spot reviews.

I don't think critics should ever engage in such poor behavior, but I will say this: I can somewhat understand the temptation to do so.

Though, many artists prefer to paint critics as bitter wannabes who can't do abd therefore they criticize others, this is, in most cases, I think, not true. During my short stint as a theater critic, when I gave very bad reviews, it wasn't out of jealousy or general animosity on my part, it was because the play was bad.

And as a theater critic, you have to see a lot of bad plays, which after the initial thrill of seeing theater for free wears off, makes you angry. And as time goes by, you start kind of hating any playwright that subjects you to works that are tedious, boring, self-indulgent, self-important, deeply unfunny, mastabutory and a bunch of other ugly adjectives that I'm sure, I too, could throw in the face of a playwright if I got drunk enough. Because this playwright has not only wasted my time, but also has no reason to live, and I don't get paid enough to have sit through such drivel.

Same goes for when an otherwise good play is ruined by a over-directing, over-acting, or just an over-terrible production.

In many ways, paying for plays is much preferrable to being a critic, because at least you can walk out. Until you've been forced to endure and stay awake through a bad play that clocks in at over 2 hours, don't presume to understand the critic's motivation.

You know how some vets have a hatred for war that goes way beyond the run-of-the-mill anti-war person's hatred for war, and sometimes gets them arrested? They'll tell you that's because they've seen a lot of bad shit while out in the trenches.

Same goes for theater critics, because for the most part the job is sitting through bad plays and reporting back to consumers as to whether they should see it or not. That's also why they tend to cream all over a playwright in print when the play is actually good.

So dearest playwrights, please don't take it personally when a critic lambasts you in writing. or much more inappropiately, in person. It's not you. It's your play. And it's set off someone's PTS.

Besides, I notice that no one ever complains when a critic, hopped up on cheap wine, gushes all over a playwright -- which is also inappropriate.

Hope this helps,
etc (the former critic)


P.S. -- See why I don't do criticism anymore? It makes you kind of harsh. I think my blood pressure actually went up while writing that piece.


P.S.S. -- As a recovering critic, I've since learned to appreciate art for art's sake and now actually enjoy seeing someone fail well -- especially if it seems like they were really putting some effort into it. Long live art!


P.S.S.S. -- Please come be part of my ongoing recovery. You can check out my latest directorial effort at The Quickie, and perhaps confront me angrily with your criticism afterwards. Click on the pic for details and tickets.

Tuesday Quickie -- My MGMT problem

Dearest,



So I've been raving on about "Time to Pretend" by MGMT (pronounced "management") for quite a while now. It's cynical and young and naive and intelligent and wise and existential and basically my favorite song of 2008 so far. Plus, I cannot stop watching the video. I love the Lord of the Flies kalaidascope acid trip aesthetic of it. Check it out here.



Also, if you're representing for theatre, do check out the interesting to def blog called "The Producer's Perspective" from Ken Davenport (self identified as the guy from the I-Phone commercial and the producer of Altar Boyz). I'm on deadline, yet ended up losing 45 minutes of my life on this page, and it makes me wish that more producers kept blogs.



One last thing: If you haven't gotten your Quickie tickets yet, click on the pic.



So much love,

etc

Monday Quickie - March 10, 2008

I was up filming until 11pm. Catching up with work until 12am. Then desperately trying to get to sleep b/c I knew I had to get up way early this morning until 1am. I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed on anxiety alone at 6am this morning, and the entire house reeked of cigarette smoke from last night's film shoot. In my Japan-grad school-pre-thirties days, this wouldn't have even fazed me, I would have gone to work, bragged about how little sleep I got, then hit the bar for the Monday night happy hour specials. But now I realize that I am officially too old for this kind of schedule. I'm tired and crankier than Dick Cheney at an Iraq War protest rally -- before he's had his coffee.


Anyway this is all to say, two things:


1.) This spring forward mess is bullshit, and


2.) You should all come out to see the film that officially made me old. Maybe we can pour out a bottle to my lost youth. Buy your tickets here.

Quickie Blog Series -- Sunday, March 9, 2008

Dearest,

In honor of Filly Film Cult's next film festival, The Quickie, I will be doing quickie blogs all the way up until the big event on March 22nd and 23rd. 

Sadly, there will be no disappointing porn. But hopefully you'll enjoy anyway.

Today's Quickie:

I finished my novel, Molly Ringwald Ending, two weeks ago, and have sent it off to an analyst. On his blog, Christopher Moore quoted Truman Capote as saying, "Finishing a book is like taking your child out in the backyard and shooting it." This, from what I can tell is entirely correct. I am just now getting over feeling depressed and completely untethered over this event.  After 2 and a half years, I felt rather bereft that it is for the most part done and ready to share, which is bizarre, b/c beforehand, I've always reveled in "having written." And usually cherish sending a work out into the world. But I suppose this is the difference between novel and playwriting.

I did however, manage to get a 3-page screenplay together for my Quickie entry, which I'm shooting today. It's moody and bizarre and stars Danielle Bisutti. Plus, I haven't written while depressed since 2005 (remember Grown-Ups on the Playground), so do come out to see the result. Info below, and tickets may be purchased here.

100% Love,

etc

What Should've Been My Christmas Blog

As many of you know, I'm not a huge fan of kids. In fact, I could count on my hands the number of kids I actually like, and only one of the those fingers belong to some one who's not related to me through genes or marriage.

So, when my lovely friend Kalimba sent me $20 in the mail and told me to do something "good" with it, I was just as surprised as the next person to find myself picking out toys for The L.A. Derby Dolls' Toy Drive.

The thing is that I didn't get a lot of toys as a kid. I've spoken about my mother's general disdain of Christmas, and in this consumerist culture, I go back and forth about whether my husband and I should indulge our future children with non-educational toys.

In fact, when I walked into the store, I planned on getting something educational.

But then I saw the monkey that blew bubbles.



And though, I was a rather grown-up kid, even I would have freaked out if I got this. I mean the monkey blows bubbles out of it's mouth. C'mon... how magic is that?

So here's me buying the monkey and a miniature pinball machine (the 20 in my hand is the one Kalimba sent)...


... and then here's me being directed to the Toy Drive box by two Derby Dolls in short skirts.


Yes, I got a beer first. What?

Yes, I realize that I'm pretty much all hair in these pictures.

And yes, donating toys did somehow make me feel like a kid again .

Thanks, Kalimba!

To see the rest of Kalimba's giving experiment, go here, and you know, think about doing somethin' nice for somebody in 2008.

Much love,
etc

1 + 1 = 2 Damn Dope

My favorite show plus my favorite old skool rap song coming together for a trailer!!! My dreams have come true. But why oh why did we get rid of HBO?

Still, thanks to Sincere Thoughts for hepping me to the 5th season Wire trailer. Look forward to watching when it comes out on DVD.

As Promised...

... if a few weeks late. Here's the movie that I made for Filly Film Cult's Silent Night Film Festival.

Set-up: We were given 2 minutes worth of black-and-white Super 8 film, 2 minutes worth of music, and we had to do an in-camera edit.

Lessons Learned: Homemade sharpie-and-white-paper title cards while easy are not a good idea. If you want to flip someone off on film properly, you make sure your arm is extended far in front of your body. The word "rolling" can often be lost if you're too busy laughing and talking with your friends.

To my credit: I overcame my on-camera acting phobia to sub in for an actress who couldn't make it at the last minute.

Other credits:

Guy: Davitt Felder
Tall Woman: Kalimba Bennett
Redhead: Tracey Rooney

DP: My Wonderful Husband

Hope you enjoy; let me know what you think!

11 Things You May or May Not Want to Know Right Now

Hey Guys! A few things...

1. I'm in the process of moving my blog to a more serious service and engaging a designer. So if you know any good designers, send their names my way.

2. Just joined Facebook. If you're on it, hit me up. And if you're not, turn back from this road of evil. CH finally got me to sign up for it, and I'm already scarily addicted. I've actually been comparing it to a story I had once read, in which this girl's boyfriend convinced her to try heroin, cue the downward spiral.

3. If you visit one site on my blog roll, hit up Stereohyped. It's run by Lauren Williams, the sister of Tia Williams, the woman behind "Shake Your Beauty (also in my blog roll)," and it's beyond smart and fabulous. I love my sister, but if I had a chance to be part of the William's family, Liz might get an introduction to the curb. I would say "just kidding," but I know that my sister never reads by blog, which is yet another reason to maybe jump sibling ships.

4. "Talk To Me" is out on DVD. Please rent it, so that I can keep you on my friend list.

Quote from my August 18, 2007 post:

"TALK TO ME" ... If you haven't seen me since I saw this movie, then you probably don't know that I've decided not be friends with anyone who hasn't seen this film within three months of it coming out on DVD. I (obviously) ADORED it, for too many reasons to properly name. So if it's playing in your city, do our friendship a boon, and go see it.

5. Halfway through my novel rewrite. Hope to clock serious time on it during the holiday season.

6. "American Gangster" is highly recommended. It starts off with Denzel setting a man on fire then shooting him several times, but somehow I walked out of there, convinced of the power of hard work and determined to organize my time better.

7. "Dan in Real Life" is also highly recommended. And now, I'm officially in love with Juliette Binoche. But the desire that I have held since college to hear a white parent say to their off-the-crazy-hook-acting-a-straight-fool white kid, "Hey you are the child, I am the adult. You need to calm this sassing back shit way the fuck down" has yet to be satisfied.


8. No, I'm not out of work with the strike. Radio Writers are in no way affiliated with the WGA, but I do support it. My friend, Clark, is writing about it much better than I could over at clarkblog, so do hit him up. He also has a great post on what you can do to support if you don't have time to walk the picket line -- hint, it's easy -- just don't watch your favorite programs online.

9. The raccoons kept coming back, and now we've got this door that only opens when it senses the little electronic doo-hickey on our cat's neck. I can now sleep easy at night.

10. Super Huge Thanks to all that came out to the Silent Film Festival. Fun was supposedly had by most. And I'll be posting the film that I directed in the coming week.

11. An Arclight just opened up across the street from where I work in Sherman Oaks, further convincing me that life really is beautiful.

That's all.

110% Love,
etc

Not sure if I've mentioned this yet...

But The Silent Night Film Festival is happening SATURDAY, OCTOBER 13. That's either tomorrow night or tonight depending on when you read this. Hopefully, it's not last night or two nights ago. Because that might mean you missed it, and that would be sad.

So come out and drink somes drinks, buy some our spankin new filly t-shirts (they're really cute!), watch some silent films, and have some serious fun.

This is my 100% Good Time Guarantee, so here's the info:

Screening Times: 7:30pm and 9:00pm

Location:
Theatre/Theater
5041 W. Pico Blvd. (in the Pico Redevelopment district.)

Go to http://www.fillyfilmcult.com/ to buy tickets and get more info.

Be THERE or be GOSSIP!

Purchase tickets here: http://fillyfilmcult.com/thesilentnight/audience/rsvp.htm

Purchase tickets here: http://fillyfilmcult.com/thesilentnight/audience/rsvp.htm

Questions? Contact the Fillies: http://us.f828.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=info@fillyfilmcult.com

This Hiatus Stuff Is Not Going So Well...

Awesome People!

This just in. Artshare has a permit situation, so we had to CHANGE THE LOCATION for the Silent Film Festival.

We're now going to do it at Theatre/Theater, which is located at 5041 W. Pico St, in the Pico Redevelopment district.

I've actually written and directed one of the movies, and this event is going to be SOOOO much fun, so do come out. Go to www.fillyfilmcult.com for tickets and more info. Looking forward to seeing you all there!

110% Love,
etc

Must Break My Self-Imposed Silence

For this public service announcement:

"Boondocks" starts up again October 8th on Adult Swim at 11:30

These new shows rock (in no particular order):

"Dirty Sexy Money"
"Carpoolers"
"Gossip Girl"
"Life"

These old shows are still rockin' (in no particular order)

"House"
"The Game" (can you say "Drama!")
"Friday Night Lights"
"America's Next Top Model" (yes, I'm still standing by it. It's like candy.)
"How I Met Your Mother"

I'm withholding my opinion on the rest for now. But I'm standing by my assertion that "CAVEMEN" sucks. Stay away from that show. I also might be putting out a bad Quantam Leap APB on "Journeyman," but I'm going to give it a few more episodes before I make my final decision.

That is all. Back to my hiatus now.

On Fall Hiatus

Back in 2 - 3 months.

etc

Really Quick

Went to the rehearsal for the Spark Storytelling 6th Anniversary Event yesterday, and I was blown away by the level of storytelling. The other six stories were either as good as or better than mine -- and even I have to admit that my story is pretty damn good.

But even more important than the guaranteed quality of the evening is that the Spark folks will be providing FREE food afterwards courtesy of the Border Grill. So free entrance AND free food. You can't beat that. Here's the info again, in case you can make it tonight:

Spark Storytelling - 6 year anniversary

When: September 20th : 7 p.m.
Price: Free

Where: Santa Monica Public Library
Martin Luther King Auditorium

601 Santa Monica Boulevard
Santa Monica, CA 90401

Event Phone Number: 310-396-3680 ext 5#

Celebrating six years of storytelling, the Spark holds an evening of yarn-spinning at the Santa Monica Public Library. Originating at the Powerhouse Theatre, seven people are invited to write and perform personal narratives *sparked* by a particular theme. Featuring Grant Albrecht, Joel Alpers, Tamar Brott, Ernessa Carter, Mike Lambert, Cheyenne Rothman, and Ed Spielman.

Seven storytellers. Seven true stories. This one-night only event celebrates SPARK's esteemed series with seven personal stories, culled from the best stories performed over the last six years. The performance will be recorded for SPARK's debut CD, the first in a collection, and is followed by a reception with the cast and producers.

Memed!

By Kyle -- even though I never got around to answering my last Meme. Sorry Zack!

But a week of being seen with 2 onstage performances, a rehearsal, and a silent film shoot means a black girl has got to do her hair. I'm currently under a hard pink dryer with large purple foam curlers in my hair, so as long as I'm stuck here...

Here's the meme, originated by Patrick at The Writing Life x3:

"Make a list of five strengths that you possess as a writer/artist. It's not really bragging, it's an honest assessment (forced upon you by this darn meme). Please resist the urge to enumerate your weaknesses, or even mention them in contrast to each strong point you list. Tag four other writers or artists whom you'd like to see share their strengths."

Here goes:

1. I'm bold. Totally willing to go THERE. If I'm really scared to write about something, if it makes me uncomfortable or nervous. Then I write about it anyway.

2. I'm a hell of a rewriter.

3. My writing has a lot of energy in it. Even when it's not fast-paced, it seems like it is.

4. I respect and embrace pop culture.

5. I have an abject fear of boring people (on paper), and this is why I think my writing is rarely boring.


OMG... 5 whole reasons without a word of self-deprecation. SO hard. As P.E. might say "Harder Than You Think." Had to rewrite several times. But luckily #2.

Nate B, Cybele, Nicole S, and Sincere -- this is me tagging you, suckas!

I'm SO excited! (Updates and other stuff)

Patti LaBelle's got my back on these two items:

Last April, I performed on stage for the first time since I graduated from undergrad at a Spark! Storytelling Event. And apparently, the producers have a thing for nervous, stuttering black chicks, b/c they've asked me to tell the story again for their 6 Year Anniversary event, NEXT THURSDAY ON SEPT. 20TH at the Santa Monica Public Library, which I hear is a really nice venue. And check this out: It's FREE! So go here for more info about NOT buying tickets. Nice!

Also, if you're a filmmaker in Los Angeles and want to take part in The Filly Film Cult's next event the "Silent Night Film Festival" as a participant, go here to fill out an entry form. For the rest of you who would just like to attend the festival on October 13, 2007, keep your eyes on this blog.

Am also excited about 21 MORE days of rewriting, one year on the jobby-job, The Southern California Writers Conference and the new Fall TV season. Have gone from missing TV during my self-enforced summer hiatus to becoming zen about it to just wanting a decent TV show to watch again. CH and I got rid of HBO and Showtime in a fit TV ennui, and it's been a ridiculously productive -- but lame for any kind of TV watching summer. Though we did finally get though the last season of Soul Food. Yea, B.E.T. Jazz!
Most looking forward to: Dirty Sexy Money (well-written and has the fellow Fillie, Sallie Patrick connect!), Carpoolers (saw the pilot and it was funny!), Gossip Girl (catty!), and Reaper (I don't know why!).

Also, have seen the original "Cavemen" pilot. Please see the picture above for my thoughts on that trifling-ass show.

Also, a few of you know that I've been taking "The Finishing School" class at The Writing Pad in Silverlake. This place offer classes for people who are too laid back/far away for UCLA extenstion, but too disciplined to just drift along by themselves. This week is my last class, but I've already signed up for the October session. It's made me realize the fun of writing again, and they serve you food during class -- hello! Plus, I LOVE that it's a mixed-medium class, so you never know if you're going to workshop a novel chapter, a short story, a screenplay, or poems from week-to-week. Go here for more info.

Alright, that's all for now... sorry, the simpsonizer wasn't working.

110% Love,
etc

Traffic, Derby, and Medians = Big Shit Poppin'

So much cool shit going on this weekend:

Walking into Traffic, which was written by the tremendously awesome Kyle Wilson, starts this Friday and runs through October 13th. But see it sooner than later, because I hear that it's brilliant AND awesome, and you can't beat that. Go here for tickets.


Plus, L.A. Derby Dolls are up and at it again. The Sirens vs. The Fight Crew. It's on, this Saturday, August 25th. I'm going to be there for the blood and tears and short skirts, shouldn't you? Go here for tickets.




And last, but not least, Jumping the Median, a play by the ridiculously talented, Steve Connell, starring a bunch of other ridiculously talented people is going down FOR ONE WEEKEND ONLY (August 24th - August 26th), so be there, or be that person who didn't see the play that everybody's talking about. Your choice. But go here for tickets.

Don't try to get in touch with me this weekend, because as you can see, I'm going to be really busy. Like I said, BIG shit poppin'.

110% Love,
etc

Trapped in the Junction Pt. 3

And one more, even though it's Monday, and I'm obviously no longer Trapped in the Junction! ...the Junction ... the Junction....

An excerpt from my yet-to-be-written memoir play, Hell to the Naw, etc

A Rather Disturbing Conversation that I Had with
My Husband, CH on Sunday Morning

ME: Was I dreaming last night, or was there a raccoon in the kitchen.

I had fallen asleep in a haze of Sunset Junction heat and worldly beer from the bad restaurant/great bar "good." And I really wanted/needed to believe that my fuzzy memory of CH banging on a pan and repeating in good-natured singsong: "Get out of the kitchen, racoons!" was a dream -- those of you familiar with CH's extremely practical-but-nice personality will be able to imagine him saying this.

CH: No, there wasn't a raccoon...

ME: Good--

CH: There were THREE raccoons. A mother and her two baby raccoons. They got in through the cat door and were eating Gibson's cat food. It took me a while to chase them out. They'll probably try to come back, so we're going to have to start blocking the cat door at night.

ME: (going dead still) Are you serious?

CH: Yes.

More disturbing than the idea of not one but THREE dirty, evil raccoons being in my kitchen. More disturbing than their guaranteed return. More disturbing even than the fact that they DID return on Sunday night to bump their foul noses and scratch their terrible claws against the kicthen cat door like zombies in a truly bone-chilling bid to get in, was what I said next:

ME: That's deeply disturbing. I'm definitely going to have to blog about that.

Trapped in the junction! ... the junction... the junction...

Trapped in the Junction Pt. 2

So, just in case any other Boondocks and movie popcorn lovers haven't seen this ridiculously BRILLIANT trailer for the much-delayed second season of Boondocks.

Warning: N- and cuss words abound. Then again if you didn't already figure that, then you're probably not a fan...

Here you go:




Still no firm release date, but Wikipedia says October 2007, and as we all know, the facts stated on Wikipedia are almost always right.

Trapped in the Junction Pt. 1

Once again, it's Sunset Junction time, which means that CH and I are trapped in our home, lest we risk not being able to find parking spaces, since our driveway is currently being occupied by a dumpster for all the debris from our upstairs remodel. 

I'm sad that I won't be able to do my Bollywood Dance class. There's something very therapeutic about jumping up and down while shaking your shoulders and wagging your head from side to side, but I'm looking forward to the annual street fair, since alas, I've managed to break my perfect pink sunglasses and am finally in a place where I could see replacing them.

Also it gives me some free time to post a bunch of random stuff. First up movies:

"TALK TO ME" ... If you haven't seen me since I saw this movie, then you probably don't know that I've decided not be friends with anyone who hasn't seen this film within three months of it coming out on DVD. I (obviously) ADORED it, for too many reasons to properly name. So if it's playing in your city, do our friendship a boon, and go see it.

"STARDUST" ... You know warmed-over Princess Bride still tastes pretty good. Totally worth seeing.

"BOURNE ULTIMATUM" ... Okay, I know all the critics are like in love with this movie. But there's this special kind of structure called "fractal structure." Basically, it's a writing structure, in which the same thing happens over and over again, but in bigger and bigger ways. Eugene O'Neill was the king of fractal. And the third Bourne is actually a perfect example of this hard-to-execute structure. But the thing is, I hate, hate, hate fractal structure -- have never seen the point or attraction of it. Hence, I didn't like this movie.

"ROCKET SCIENCE" ... I find it much harder to write about movies I actually like. But this one about a stuttering kid who decides to join the debate team was very good. And I would recommend it, even though I was hit with several memories of my disastrous year in college mock trial, which I had managed to repress up until seeing this film.

"HAIRSPRAY" ... just as much fun as the play. Though Queen Latifah seriously underwhelmed.

"SIMPSONS MOVIE" ... F.U.N. Like a really long episode. A really long fun episode.

Okay, time to walk down to Sunset Junction. More randomness later. 

Smith is SO hot

Dudes, sorry I've been so quiet. On the 21 days of rewriting my novel and flossing tip right now. The rewrite's going well so far, but flossing every night is like seriously hard -- it's like my most undisciplined time of the day.

But I did want to post this link about Smith being named the hottest women's college in the"25 Hottest University" edition of Newsweek: http://smithcollege99.blogspot.com/2007/08/smith-ranks-hottest.html

Represent your hood, mami!

"There's no truth in roller derby!"

One of my biggest regrets of my wedding is that I wasn't able to invite more Derby Dolls. The problem is that Derby Dolls kind of come in a pack. It's kind of impossible to invite just one. And every time I tried to put one of them on the list, it was like, well then I'd also have to invite so-and-so and so-and-so. In the end, we were only able to include two. "Are you sure you used to do the derby, 'Lil Ness?" my father asked upon seeing Emma Geddon (the 6'0 blond) and Kaboom (the 5'8ish redhead) above. "Them girls look a lot bigger than you." He seemed worried for my 5'3 well-being, though it's been a year since I retired. "Dad," I answered with the swagger that only six glasses of champagne and fuzzy over-nostalgicized memory can achieve, "I was known as the little girl that could take all the big girls down." That claim is "truthiness" at best. Still, I plan to tell my grandchildren the same thing.

Learning is not easy, but it's fun. Today I wrote a synopsis, for a screenplay, and I was shocked at how much better it was than every other synopsis that I have ever written, now that I've actually studied writing synopses.

I also went to my Bollywood class, and can I tell you that I've never had so much fun burning calories. I don't really have the body for Bollywood dancing. I pull off the moves, but I'm not delicate enough to make them look graceful. Luckily, one of the many benefits of hitting 30 is that I'm now more concerned with having fun than looking good. So the class is great.

We're about to go see "TALK TO ME," which I've been wanting to see for a while now. So I'll have a review for you, along with the rest of my summer movie reviews since July 1 for you tomorrow.

Talk to you then,
etc

21 Days of Learning

To-be-weds, if you ever want to encourage many questions about when you plan to have children, all you have to do is go anywhere near a child at your wedding. Luckily my cousin Kim's fraternal 1-year-old twins, Cornell and Mariah. are so adorable that they were worth all the shouts of "You guys look like naturals" and "You should have some of your own." Being such cutie-pies, Cornell and Mariah have become accustomed to getting picked up by all manner of people. And though they were the hit of the wedding, I fear for their safety, because they don't seem to have that "crying when picked up by strangers" gene. And it'd be pretty easy to give into temptation and kidnap these two. Especially since, as you can see from this picture, Mariah is easily mesmerized by jewelery. I'm currently trying to convince my cousin Kim to move out here to L.A., b/c both Cornell and Mariah have had so many pictures taken of them, that they now instinctively go completely still and pose with adorable smiles on their faces whenever they see a camera. I'm not kidding. It's cute in practice, but creepy in theory. So I told Kim that since she's somehow trained her babies to be models at the tender age of 1, she should bring them out here, so that they can at least make a profit off of their deeply disturbing double talent -- and perhaps pay off their college bills ahead of time.

Hey guys, I'm on week 2 of a new 21 days of learning. So I've finally started hitting Yoga classes like everybody else in Los Angeles. Also, I've been scaring myself silly with books like "Self-Editing for Fiction Writers" and "The Sell Your Novel ToolKit."

I know that most of good writing is rewriting, and that it's actually better to take a break from a piece before tackling the rewrite, and that my habit of writing a rough draft and then abandoning it, needs to like stop.

And I'm actually quite excited to start the upcoming 21 days of rewrite with all this new knowledge. But I am also incredibly scared that I won't be able to fix the things that are wrong with my novel, much less get it published. And my abject fear of doing this rewrite is really messing my head and actually keeping me awake at night. It feels like my writing demons are building up an impossible-to-beat army while I take this breather.

But in the end, I suppose that being dead terrified of a thing is never a reason not to do it.

In other news, I'm also taking African Dance, for the first time in 10 years. Those who heard the story I told at Spark's "Water" Storytelling Event last April, will realize the significance of that.

I'm taking the class on Wednesdays at the Heartbeat House in Silverlake. It's fun, and taught by Doris, a West Indian dancer with a ridiculously thick French accent and the even more cartoonish habit of saying, "What! Es eeeee-zeeee!" when we students mess up a complicated move on our first try. Anyway it's fun. I'm also taking a Bollywood Dance class at Heartbeat on Saturdays, which is also fun.

And if you're now all awash in curiosity from my above mention of Spark's Storytelling Event, you'll have the chance to see me perform for only the second time in almost ten years, because Spark has asked me to retell my story for a big event that they're throwing on Sept. 20 at The Santa Monica Library. More details coming at the end of August, but save the date.

Talk to you soon,
etc

Pictures and other stuff

I've never been a fan of having my picture taken, but that's kind of unavoidable at weddings -- seriously I don't know how celebrities do it all the time, because by the end of the day, Christian and I vowed never to have our picture taken again. Anyway, I got an unasked for lesson in modeling that day, because photos like the one above taught me that I should always show teeth when I smile. Otherwise, one of the happiest moments of my life could easily be mistaken for "that time I sucked a lemon." Here's my solemn promise that I will proudly show off my gap, which I actually love, in pictures from now on. Lesson so learned.



Okay, I kind of thought that my return to blogging in June wasn't all that spectacular, but I've been begged fiercely by multiple (read: 2) people over the last few weeks, so I am posting again by hugely popular demand.

First things first, a wedding blog is so daunting, so I've decided to post one wedding pic at the top of each blog with a little anecdote. And if you want to see more pics you can go to our flickr account here. Or if you want to see the professional pics, check out our wedding photographer, Jihan Abdalla's take on the event here -- the password is "ernessa"

Second things second, the honeymoon was FANTASTIC. Christian and I planned to kayak, hike, and take a helicopter ride around the island. And here's what we ended up doing: reading by the pool, hanging out in the hotel room, taking one whole 3-hour hike halfway through, then buying more books, after making a firm decision to spend the rest of our honeymoon reading more books by the pool (lava flows and mai tais very much included) and hanging out in the hotel room. So pretty much it was the best honeymoon ever.

Third things third, a few more updates. I FINALLY finished the rough draft of my novel. SO excited. Yea, 21! Now for 21 days of rewrite. Sigh.

My friend Sebrina just had a BEAUTIFUL baby girl, which she named Madison.

My friend and fellow playwright Kyle is rehearsing a play right now for UnKnown. Can't wait to see it.

And Filly Film Cult has a super-exciting event coming soon, so stay tuned for the details.

Talk to you soon,
etc

Gone Fishin' -- Back Next Week

So this is the last day of my 21, and the first day of my honeymoon. We've just finished eating at one of the most beautiful hotels I have ever stayed in, The Grand Hyatt in Kauai.

We ate for what seemed like the first time in days (I'm told the food and cake at our wedding was very good, but wouldn't really know since I barely had a chance to taste it). Then we sent in the fax number for the hotel to the car appraisal people re: my accident. 

And now we're back in the room. It's 1pm.  So now we plan to close the curtains on the below view. Throw all the unnecessary pillows (even more than pictured) off the below bed, and sleep our asses off. 

Back next week with more blogs -- including a big wedding one -- so hold tight! 

110% Love,

etc

As it Turns Out ...

Our wedding day was like an entire season of "24," but with more ups and downs, and a happier season finale. 

Full Wedding Blog Coming Soon...